Today I met with two friends for lunch. I haven't actually seen either of them since October so I should have been excited. But it was with a weary heart that I went to meet them.
A few months ago, I found how little my friendship meant to them, and that any driving had to be on my part if I wanted to get together. I live 30 miles from them. For Seattle that can be your commute on a daily basis. Regardless, every time it required driving to my home there were many reasons why they couldn't. Once I quit traveling into their town, they quit calling.
One of them has taken a job out of state and wanted to share that information and that she would be leaving town on Sunday, while her son who is 12 and her husband remain here. I think I was supposed to feel more sad, or shocked, but since I've only heard from her twice via text message, since the last time she cancelled on me earlier this fall, it was like the the sadness had already happened back then, so it was just now there would be a legitimate reason for her not contacting me.
I'm happy that she thinks she's found something she wants to do, and I hope it all works out for her. She kept asking if I would come visit her, and I had to be honest probably not. Why would I pay to fly to another state, when she couldn't even make the effort to come to my home 30 miles away?
Ultimately the last time they cancelled on me, upset me because it was one the gals birthdays, and I was planning & had started preparing a tea luncheon. One other person was invited- she was the only who could attend. When I get and email saying " its my birthday I've decided to do something else with someone else", I was pretty pissed. And then the other said she couldn't make arrangements for her son to get home although presumably they had been made earlier. After a couple hours I called the one with the son, and she proceeded to tell me she had plans to go out with another friend. OK Fine, I get it. I'm good to be around if I will travel, but not the other way around. So I figure this will be the demise of our friendship since I have no plans to travel to see her.
As for traveling if I have a spare dime to travel, it will be to see my daughter in England.
I wish them both well. Although we had some things in common, I don't think they are strong enough to keep the threads of friendship from unravleing.
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